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Child of Mine

Music, at times, can give me goose bumps. Not just any music though. It has to be the right combination of tune, lyrics, vocals and instruments for the “goose bumps effect” to occur. I spoke of the music/goose bumps combination in a previous post “Time Travelling…with Music”.

Rarely does the written word have the same effect on me as music does. Sure, I’ll be the first one to admit how easy it is to lose yourself in the imaginary world of a book, and yes, words do have a profound effect, although not generally the “goose bumps” effect.

The following passage, however, not only gave me goose bumps, but also brought tears to my eyes ~

“Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you’ve come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I’m always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you”. ~ Abraham Hicks.

Oh how easy it is to allow natural maternal or paternal instincts to take over, disguised in the names of nurturing, protection and love. When our children are new born babies, of course we do everything for them. They rely on us as parents to be there when they are hungry, to dress them and keep them warm, tuck them into bed at night and have hugs available by the barrow load. We have wonderful dreams of the amazing people our children will grow into.

As the years progress, we develop a habit of “doing” for our children, believing they expect us to be there for them, because that’s just what parents are there for! Think about it, didn’t our own parents always “do” for us?

And then there comes a time when we must begin to let go. With the passing of the years, our children are learning, mostly through watching the examples we set for them, through our own actions, therefore, haven’t they learned from the best? 😉

Gradually, we see a change in their demeanour. They become more independent, personal preferences begin to show. Our children still need us, but their needs change. No longer expecting us to spoon feed them, they begin to seek our approval.

Our role in their lives changes, we become our children’s “most avid cheerleading section”, giving them the confidence to strive ahead, forge on and follow their dreams. Because now, the dreams they are following are those of their own making, not our dreams for them.

As a mother of four, I have learned five main lessons from my children ~

  • Believe in them. If they have your support, in whatever they choose to do, they feel invincible.
  • Allow them to have the freedom to experience the world for themselves.
  • Keep the lines of communication open to them. Let them know they can confide in you, no matter what.
  • Let them make their own mistakes, and be there for them, when they need you.
  • Most of all, keep on loving them, and let them know you do. No child is ever too old to be reassured that they are loved by a parent.

With mutual respect and love, as the years progress, your dependant little baby will become a friend, and not just any friend, but a friend you can trust, rely on and cherish.

There is nothing more exhilarating than to watch your own child growing up, allowing them the opportunity to become the person who they really are and becoming acquainted with their own individual personality.


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2 thoughts on “Child of Mine

  1. The growing process we go through with our kids is very instinctual; by instinct, they know what is right for them; by instinct we learn how to treat them (and vice versa!) 🙂

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