A Sense of Spirit · birthdays · blessings · new beginnings · remembering

Dear Adam.

baby Adam

My youngest son turns eighteen today, and even though he knows that I blog, calling the friends I have made here my “Fairy Friends”, I doubt that he would ever think to read what I have said. Today though, I need to mark the day my youngest child becomes a man. Really? Is it actually today that he reaches maturity? No, I think not. A date on a calendar could never in a million years have prepared my boy for his initiation into manhood, when his fiancé gave birth to their first child, Samuel, a tiny little bundle who was born sleeping.

Adams car

The words in my heart need to be constructed here today, and sent out into The Universe, along with a smattering of photographic memories of my son, and you, my “Fairy Friends”, my wonderful small group of people who are so very dear to me, even though we have never met, can share in the day too. The day my son becomes “legal” ~ can buy lottery tickets, and cigarettes and alcohol, play poker machines, vote, borrow money, get a tattoo….these things are taboo to an under eighteen year old, kept away from them for their own protection, perhaps? To protect them from what? Nothing can protect us from living a life, from feeling love and heartbreak. Age cannot dictate a personality, nor enable kindness, compassion, or empathy, all of which Adam has been blessed with, so today, I wish to honour my son for the human being he is.

Just because I love him.

pre school

Dear Adam,

When I saw your face this morning it felt no different than any other morning, or any other birthday for that matter, when I have greeted you and wished you happiness for your special day. Legally, from now on, you no longer need your father and I, but knowing you as I do, I know that you already understand that we will always be here for you anyway.

You’ll always be my baby, in more ways than one, you are my child, and my last born baby, and my heart will continue to travel along with you throughout your entire life, no matter where you are, just as it has done for the past eighteen years.

Recently, I have been complimented, more than once, on raising such a wonderful son, a son I can be proud of, and although I have done my best to instill in you a decent set of moral values, have taught you right from wrong, and encouraged you to seek anything which your heart desires, I cannot accept full responsibility for the person you have become. Every person is born with their own unique personality, and Adam, I really scored it lucky on the day you were born.

My beautiful baby boy with the huge blue eyes, you were so contented, barely ever cried, adored your family, loved music and called all of your favourite things “Narna”. And oh, the looks I would be given when out shopping, as I pushed along a stroller containing a one year old who could whistle! You were always on for a chat too, joining in with your baby babble-talk, laughing on cue during conversations, and always waving the longest goodbyes.

Your school teachers thought you quite remarkable too, when you arrived at school being able to tie your own shoe laces, and you could even count to one-thousand. I remember with great fondness the friends you made when young, some at school, some through sporting activities, many of whom you have remained friends with to this day.

My little football player, the black-belt karate kid, cricket playing wizard and piano player extraordinaire, how I have smiled throughout the past eighteen years, admiring your talents.

And then there’s the compassionate Adam, the young boy who always stood by and helped the under-dog, those with disabilities, and kids who were bullied at school. No one dared mess with you, did they my boy? You never shied away from a fight, not when it was something you believed in.

At high school, you discovered girls, and oh my goodness, what a long string of “girl friends” there were too! I gave up trying to show interest after a while, there were too many to remember, and I always knew that when someone special came along, you would let me know.

And you did. What was it that you saw in Mary that made her stand out from the rest? I believe that you and Mary are kindred spirits. With Mary, you really did recognise your “other half”, didn’t you, the person you knew that you were destined to stay with forever.

Last year, as you and Mary whispered together nearby, I would occasionally pick up words dropped along the way, hear your plans for when you were married, when you had children, when you would always be together, so earlier this year, when you knew about the baby and told me that the three of you were to all have the same sir name, I knew this to be your dream.

Dreams do come true, my boy, perhaps not always at the time you expect them to, but when you and Mary are married in less than two weeks time, little Samuel will be watching over his mummy and daddy as the three of you become as one. Your beautiful Mary is a huge part of your dreams, Adam, and Samuel will never be forgotten. His little brothers and sisters will be here before you know it, so don’t fret. You know your heart and you know Mary’s heart, separate to yours physically, yet one heart through love.

Just so’s you know, the video of a nine or ten year old Adam, which we had promised to show at either your eighteenth or twenty-first birthday, is being safely kept for your twenty-first birthday bash. With a wedding coming up in less than two weeks, we think we will save that one for now. What a laugh your children will get when they see their daddy dancing a strip-tease when he was just a little boy!

Your love, your gentleness, your strength, sense of humour and compassion, they will always see you through. I am so proud of you, did I already tell you that a thousand times over? I think I did, but just in case you missed it, always remember Adam, I am, and always will be, your biggest fan, devoted to you, here to support you throughout the hard times in life and to treasure the happiness that finds you also.

Happy Birthday Adam ~ I love you, always. ~~ Mum. x

Me & Adam

Model Adam

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Adam at Eumundi 9th Dec

Adam today, with Mary, and their dog, Forrest.
Adam today, with Mary, and their dog, Forrest.

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19 thoughts on “Dear Adam.

  1. He’s 18 ? He’s 18 ! Oh Joanne I didn’t realize that he and Mary are so very young. What a lot to have endured at a time when most ‘kids’ his age are living thoughtless, carefree lives. I think he and Mary MUST be kindred spirits to have endured through it all. Oh how proud you must be of the man your boy has become.

    p.S. never seen a 1 yo whistle. Wish you had a video of THAT ! lol

    p.p.s. yes, we do have a bit of a ‘community’ don’t we ? I notice that within a small circle of blogs there are the same few people there visiting and commenting along with me … and I like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s right Sybil, he’s just turned eighteen today, and I never doubted for a moment that the recent choices he has made were the right ones for him.

      I do have some old videos of Adam as a baby, but I don’t remember if we ever took one of him whistling. I need to find someone who can convert the videos to DVD’s, as I can’t play them any more. And you know what, Adam still whistles a lot, even now!

      I love my group of blogging friends and I think that when we find each other on Facebook, the friendships become even closer. And how great it is that we come from countries the world over too. 🙂

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  2. Joanne – you sound so much like me – I wrote a letter much like that to both my sons when they became “of age”, and reading yours to your wonderful son, Adam, brought back such memories for me. All we can do as parents is bring them up to the best of our ability and the rest is up to them. I am sure that as Adam and Mary get married and become “one in heart” that they will be richly blessed – I pray so anyway. And of course, you and your husband can look at the young man he has become and know that you have done your very best. I pray that their wedding day will be very special and as you say, Samuel will be looking down on them and will always be in their hearts and yours too. With fondest love Maureen (UK)

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM, and HAPPY WEDDING DAY, ADAM AND MARY!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind wishes, Maureen! Yes, we can only do our best with our children, the rest is up to them, but what a wonderful feeling of pride I have felt for Adam recently, amid the tears, as he has shown a true strength of character. Thank you for being there for me with your encouraging words, right throughout this difficult time. x

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  3. A beautiful and heartfelt letter, Joanne. Your love comes shining through. Sometimes I think birthdays are the most special to moms. It’s a day uniquely shared like no other, a special forever bond. I hope Adam’s 18th is a good one and that he and Mary will have a long and productive life together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, Eliza, it’s a “birth day” for mother’s also, being the day we gave birth to our children, so very significant in the lives of both the mother and child. Thank you so much for your kind wishes for Adam and Mary. x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, happy birthday to Adam! What a wonderful trip down memory lane – you were truly blessed with a great kid. You cannot ask for more than to have raised a son full of kindness, compassion, and empathy, qualities so important now in this uncertain world…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know about you Barbara, but my children’s birthdays are usually a day of reflection. I think this year though, with the highs and lows of emotion relating to Adam, this birthday felt especially significant. Thank you for your kind wishes. x

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    1. Lol, Robin. We are probably all a little on the fae side. 😉

      Surprisingly, Adam has read this. Mary found my letter here and told Adam about it last night, and after he read it through I said to him that I have some pretty lovely “Fairy Friends”, don’t I, to which he replied yes, and he also said that he really does believe you are all real. The expression “you live and learn” came to my mind. 😉

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